Pre-Surgery Details

I called the hospital at 9:30am this morning as instructed... and left a message. My message was promptly returned ... at 11:14am. Let me back up a bit. I have to vent because the person who called me yesterday used the home number instead of my mobile. So there was no way for me to get the call until after 7pm or so. All she said in the messages was: "This is [name not posted]. Please call me at [number not posted] for instructions regarding your appointment this Thursday. Call me before 3:30pm today or after 9:00am tomorrow morning." First of all, I don't have an appointment scheduled for Thursday. I have surgery. It is an out-patient procedure, yes, but it is still surgery. Second, she requested that I return the call before 3:30pm. Would you like to hazard a guess as to when she dropped that message? Hmmmm? Oh, about 2:57pm. How do you like that window? I might have been able to squeeze through that window had she contacted me via cell, but ... I had to wait until this morning. So, almost two hours after I made my return call, she wins the little game of phone tag and hits me with the following instructions for my "appointment."

1. She will call me after 3pm today and give me the exact time I need to be on location at the hospital. (She doesn't know yet?!).

   Update [06-21-2006 02:18pm]: I just got off the phone. My arrival time is set for 9:15AM. Let me see ... my phone log indicates that the call came through at 2:13pm ... that means the hospital was a whole 47 minutes early in getting back to me. Whoa!

2. Location = 2nd Floor --> Surgical Short Stay. (Remember: It's a "short" stay ... now go read the next item.)
3. The procedure will take about 4 - 5 hours from start to finish. (Well, it's a good thing I cleared my schedule for this "short" stay).
4. I will need someone to "take care of me" after the procedure, and to drive me home. (I hope Mrs. Brainwise cleared her schedule, too).
5. No eating after midnight tonight ... no breakfast tomorrow. (What? No morning coffee? Well, maybe I'll be able to sleep through the procedure without any anesthesia. Ummm ... Probably not.)
6. Do not take anti-imflammatories ... no vitamins ... no supplements of any kind after midnight tonight through tomorrow.
7. I have to use a black pen or marker and write "Yes" on my left foot. (I am tempted to use a red marker to write "NO!" on my right foot ... and maybe both of my arms.)

Oh joy. [This post is a follow-up to My Left Foot.]