Like many people, I sometimes have to sit in a waiting room. During a recent wait, I picked up a financial magazine and started thumbing through it. Apparently, the individual who picked up the same copy of this magazine (that shall remain nameless) had puh-lenty of time to kill. He (or she, I really should not assume here) decided to add the following disclaimer to said magazine:
|- quoted material -- author unknown -|
|- end quoted material -| That unofficial disclaimer was more noteworthy than anything else I found in the mag. Seriously.
Notice: This magazine may be read only by those that meet the following qualifications:
- You are male-born-male.
- You voted for Bush and believe he can do no wrong.
- You believe that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and Mars is a much better planet.
- You are white.
- You are heterosexual and homophobic.
- You have no mannerisms that could possibly, in any way, be considered even slightly feminine or wimpy, such as feelings, emotions, concern for others.
- You are Republican.
- You voted for Bush and believe he should be king.
- You are pseudo-Christian (as opposed to real Christians, who don’t skip those parts of the bible that mention Jesus’ concern for the poor and disadvantaged, overturning the moneychanger’s tables, etc).
- You can be Jewish, if you are sufficiently right-wing, willing to suck up to pseudo-Christians, and agree to sell your soul when the Rapture comes. But be advised that we can revoke this privilege at any time. Also, we have a strict quota on the number of Jewish subscribers. (This is “affirmative action”, after all.)
- You are eager to lay off workers and outsource their jobs, and can do this as easily as flicking a crumb off your table.
- You are eager to make money off the backs of those who don’t meet these qualifications.
- You believe Bush should be king and that he can do no wrong.
- You equate capitalism with democracy.
If you do not meet these qualifications, you are nothing but a scraping from the bottom of the barrel and we don’t want you as a reader.