Otis and the Oscar Meyer Wiener Song (An Update on His Condition)

Mrs. Brainwise and I met with the vet last night to discuss Otis' treatment options in his ongoing battle against Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease (FLUTD), formerly known as FUS (Feline Urologic Syndrome). As I mentioned yesterday, we knew he was a candidate for the surgical procedure called a perineal urethrostomy (more specifics on that later). What I did not know at the time was that the surgery is our only option. Well, OK, we really have two options:

1. Do the surgery now, or
2. Keep him on meds for a while and do the surgery later (within a month).

Since he ultimately has to have the surgery, we opted to not delay it. A perineal urethrostomy is a surgial procedure that removes the narrow part of the urethra that is usually the focus of the blockage. More specifically, the surgery enlarges the urethral opening by shortening the male penis and removing the poor guy's wiener and re-routing the urethra to create a wider urine canal. You can find more information about this procedure, and the disorder in general, at the following pages:

• HomeVet: Feline Cystitis
• Bengal Cat/Kitten Health Corner: FUS
• Mollie's Big Heart: Perineal Urethrostemy (has link to the actual procedure -- graphic photo warning!)
• Mollie's Big Heart: FUS/FLUTD
• Pawprints and Purrs: Feline Cystitis
• Boomer's Story

This morning, Mrs. Brainwise told me that she had the Oscar Meyer song going through her head, and that she tried to change it for Otis. Immediately, I came up with these lyrics:

"Otis' Pre-Surgery Song" (or "The Further Emasculation of an Already Neutered Cat") Sung -- from Otis' perspective -- to the tune of the Oscar Meyer Wiener Song 

Oh, I wish I didn't have to lose my wiener | A boy cat is what I truly love to be | But since the doctor's gonna take my wiener | Just like a girl cat I will have to pee.

That's not exactly what she had in mind, but we got a good chuckle out of it. I leave you with some photos of Otis at the vet. We were able to spend some time with him after speaking with the vet. Click for larger image (with brief descriptions):

Update 4:25pm: Surgery has been postponed. There was a surgical emergency today (another critter, not Otis). It took up most of the day and the vet does not want to be tired when he performs Otis' procedure. So ... maybe tomorrow. We have been told that Otis is fine and we can even visit him this evening if we want.