The good 'ol one-size-fits-all approach has been dropped. Taking its place is a collection of 12 different triangle shaped guides. Different strokes, er ... guides, for different folks' nutritional needs and lifestyles.
The new program was
unveiled today by Agriculture Secretary Mike Johanns and pear-shaped fitness guru Denise Austin, who is a member of the President's Physical Fitness and Sports Council. In a radical move obviously intended to distance herself from the maniacal Richard Simmons, Austin shouted the entire audience to their feet for a stretching session: "You burn more calories standing than sitting! Everyone
up!!"
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